Miss ko to

I miss this scene in my life. I can still remember those times...

Subrang busy ko last week, i prepared for the big event last August 15, 2013 ako kasi ang host, for the first time in my life history nagawa ko, and i conquer my greatest fear in life to face the crowd...and then august 16 was our training again and at the same time examination time huhuhu grabeh hindi ko nagawa ng tamang oras ang exam. Friday morning i produced a copy of my exam 8:00 a.m is the examination time grabeh first time pero i made it. Lagi akong under time. Saturday august 17, i'm in byugan and august 18, in gingoog and august 19 in surigao, i was absent again. But life is beautiful even i was too busy but for those busy moment of my life nandoon ka pa rin visiting in my dreams, talagang pinagtulakan mo raw ako palayo sayo hehehe ayyyy iwan but yon napunta sa panaginip ko... sira talaga anoh. Tama naman kaya ko nmang magkalayo tayo...lagi nman. Kahit ilang years na nga. Ok lang nman ako kahit nga seguro hindi na tayo magkita magiging ok parin ako. Pero huwag mo lang sabihing kalimutan kita kasi hindi ko talaga alam kung paano. Sira talaga ang magmahal ng totoo habang buhay na nasa puso pero kaya namang magpatuloy sa buhay...ang importante lang acceptance...at peace of mine. Sabi nga to be happy is a choice, its not a destiny.

Unti-unti ko ng binabalikan ang mga lugar na nakapagpaalala sa mga nakaraan, at nagawa ko yon. I really appreciate myself dahil nagawa ko ang mga bagay na minsan kinatakutan kong gawin at iniiwasan ko dati. Unti-unting gumagaan ang sakit na nakabinbin sa puso...mga bagay na noon talagang iniwisan ko. Nagawa kong makipagkita sayo, masabi ang nararamdaman ko,nagawa ko na. Kahapon nagawa kung pumunta sa inyo kung saan ang lahat nagsimula. Nagawa ko ang makipag-usap sayo, sa mama mo na casual lang ang lahat. I think huling place na 'yon kahapon kung saan nagsimula ang lahat. Nagawa ko naring balikan ang lahat ng alaala na mayroon ako para sa'yo. Don't you know na malaking tulong yon sa sarili ko para makawala sa mga alaala mo, seguro para lang masanay ang puso. Hindi man kita makalimutan, hindi ka man mabura sa puso ko...pero magaan naman ang pakiramdam ko na magpatuloy sa anumang buhay mayroon ako. 

Kahit hindi mo man ako mahal, O sabiin mang hindi muna ako mahal, kahit sabihin mong hindi na ako ang dati, kaya hindi muna ako dapat mahalin. Gustohin ko rin mang kalimutan mo ako, pero kahit anong gawin natin nandyan na yan hindi na mabura at naaalala tayo ng kaibigan natin kahit sa anumang paraan. Maaring hindi muna ako mahal, pero mahal parin kita, hintayin mo lang na magsubside ang lahat at masabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi na kita mahal. Gusto mo ba yon??? pero hintayin natin ha kasi hindi ko alam kung kailan mangyayari yon...Pero magiging masaya ako kung makakakita ka ng taong magmamahal sayo ng higit pa. Kaso lang hindi na katulad ng dati, seguro hindi na pueding magkita or tumawag man sa cellphone..kung ngayon hindi mo ako makausap ng maayos dahil nasa tabi mo ang kuya mo... paano nalang kaya kung ang nasa tabi mo ay asawa mo. Kaya maraming magbabago pero handa na ako doon. Mag-ingat ka at good luck sa buhay natin.

SALAMAT that you let everything happened yesterday, and thanks to our closest friend.

ikaw parin

Maraming taon na ang nakalipas mula noong mga pangyayaring naganap sa buhay ko. Mga nakaraang kahit gustuhin mo mang kalimutan ay di naman maiwasan. Sabihin man nilang tanga ang magmahal pero masaya naman. Sabi ko nga sa sarili ko ang ganda ng buhay Lord na mayroon ako, dumanas man ng paghihirap ay nakakayanan ko, minsan kailangann magparaya, magtiis dahil ang lahat ay lilipas din. Hindi laging maulap ang kalangitan, pagkatapos ng ulan ay may rainbow na dadaan. Sabi ko pa masaya na ako sa buhay na mayroon ako and i always thank you. Pero sa tuwing naalala kita at sumsagi ka sa panaginip ko ang tagal bago ako makabalik sa sariling ako. Kailangan talagang papatak ang ulan, bago ito huhupa, kirot sa puso na parang it is squeezing my heart. Nandoon ka parin, hindi man kita naalala minsan pero kung maka occupy ka naman wagas.

You wake me up again this morning 3 am dahil nanaginip lang ako sayo. Hahayyy bakit naman kasi 8 long years naman eh tapos may buhay na ako...iba na ang daan na tinatahak ko. Sana maaply ko ang law of attraction dito. Ganito na talaga seguro ang puso, masaya naman kami, pamilya ko ang priority ko dahil sila ang buhay ko...pero seguro ganoon talaga...  

Last night when your hand touches my hand... sabi ko wala IKAW PARIN...dretso sa puso ang kirot...parang ang hirap huminga...

Gusto kong tulungan ka sa problema mo sa health pero di ka naman naniniwala sa akin dahil hindi ako isang doctor sabi ko nga sana naging doctor ako para paniwalaan mo. Gusto kong gumaling ka dahil marami na akong natulungan katulad ng problema mo pero hindi ka kasi naniniwala sa akin. Sana marealize mo hindi kita kahit minsan niluko...minahal lang kita maging sino ka pa... tanggap ko kung ano ka... Ang gusto ko lang maging ok ka. Sana marealize mo 'yon. 

Bakit kaya...

Have you tried to read THE LAW OF ATTRACTION... in the universe positives attracts whatever you're thinking and heart and your mind is in unison it will really happen. Sabi nga THOUGHTS BECOMES THINGS... maaaply kaya to sa law of the heart??? hehehe wala naisip ko lang kasi kumikirot parin ang puso lalo na if nakabasa ako nga mga love story of mga movies na talagang tagos sa puso hehehe. Ikaw kasing sumagi sa puso ko pero kahit alam ko na ang tunay na pagkatao mo, ganito parin ako. Sana maaply ko dito ang law of attraction and I'm practicing it simulan sa ibang bagay bago ang puso....

My life is really good now...going straight and I'm earning sa earn na gusto ko...I'm busy with my work and with the business that God has given it to me...It is really a blessing that God showered blessings in my life... Really this year is a fruitful year and more blessing and it happens already..THANKS GOD 

My Dog

My dog died last may 28, 2013...I never notice that he has been sick or what...he just died, maybe na heatstroke seguro, when i went home late at night around 11:00 PM. When i called his name nobody comes to me... I seek on him, just then i found out that he is dead. Poor dog, lisod pud ipa autopsy. Sayang pero la na jud ang dog, my only dog that really remarkable dog of mine. I cannot have any other dog just like... I don't have any guard in my house every time were asleep or just away in our house. His a special dog... I'm sorry dogie, its just that I'm quite busy weeks ago. GOODBYE

Don't you know that I'm so THANKFUL that it happened to you. I mean na nagkaganito ako sayo at hindi sa ibang tao...dahil kung nagkataon sira na ang buhay ko. Thank you dahil you respect me, my situation and my life. You value our friendship and the feelings that we had. It is really amazing for me that it happened. Despite of the secrets revealed... You knew everything but yet your so calm...You respect the feelings and the situation... and we was able to retain our friendship..and that's a big big favor that God has given me...

Napaka understanding mo at masayang kasama...hindi ko alam basta nagiging masaya ako pag kasama kita. Salamat sa respeto at pang-unawa. Sana huwag kang magbago dahil behira lang ang isang katulad mo. Hindi ko alam kung minsan naging totoo ka sa sarili mo pero ang importante nandito lang ako. Talaga lang naman... 'yon ang magagawa ng isang nagmamahal..."Handang umunawa" totoo???

Thank you dahil nagmahal ako sa isang katulad mo...katulad mo na walang katulad. Hindi ko alam bakit hindi nakikita ng iba ang nakikita ko sayo...ganoon nga talaga ang buhay. Na minsan hindi nakikita ng iba ang nakikita ng isang nagmamahal.

Don't forget to call me when life is too rough and you needed someone to lean on, I'm just here just a call apart...Promise whatever is it I'm more than willing to understand and this is a promise that i could leave it to you. And i will stick into it no matter what. Trust me...

Tanga nga talaga ang magmahal...pero masaya.

Kaya ko na! eka nga Aja! Alam ko kaya muna kasi kaya ko na... Kambal nga tayo sa damdamin diba! I know you've felt the same... kailangan eh! diba! kailangan natin maging ok??? We need to be ok...and it is ok to move on knowing all the TRUTH in life. Now that you know everything na hindi ka nag-iisa noong mga araw na 'yon... lets move-on...the truth will set you free...

I know by knowing the truth it breaks your heart pero sandali lang 'yon after all...it is worth it.  We should not bring heavy loads and waves our hands with a heavy heart...wave our hand not in traditionally way, i mean a wave of hand in saying good luck for our journey in life...

You are part of my life and its always be...i can't undo the past nor delete those chapter of my life...and if given a chance to delete those chapter i won't do it coz that was the best chapter of my life... That was the highlight of the story. I cannot make a book of my life without those memories, those experience. I experience the best of LOVE without knowing each others feeling. That once in a while the prince met the princess pero hindi naging sila...they live happily ever after in their separate way. Puede diba! para maiba ang story...what a joke but anyway that's life.

 If compare to a timeline that was one of my ups..talaga lang...ganun lang naman. Now, when i look back the memories... i can smile without pain...if in fate we will met again that's the time that i can say na ok na talaga ako if the feelings still the same... no pain...no heartache..no regrets...no heavy heart. For how many years, eight long years or more pa ehehe ...I am whole again...

If there's something bothering you about a certain person let that person know so you won't be bothered anymore. That's what I've learned in my situation, sakit sa puso kung dala-dala mo...Don't keep or carry those loads in your heart. Di ko man nasabi ang lahat sayo when we met dahil diko masabi but i was able to let you know in other way. Someday if our roads cross again everything will be fine...

The hardest feelings i have encountered in my life is Living someone, when you Love someone...totoo 'yon. It is hard to adjust pero as it goes on matutunan mo ang lahat... Learn to live your life without doubt and  give everything the best for them. After all, it is worth living for...

I am strong coz I've gone another year of my life...

Jst want to say Merry Christmas..
I Love you

I'm here in the terrace over looking the sea
Birds sings as they swing the branches of the tree
Stream are making their sounds as the water falls into thee
Lovely to spend with someone special for the rest of the day.

(These are the words i've made wen i was in duka bay(December 14, 2012 around 6 a.m.) watching the ocean afar, enjoying the beauty of nature
.... watching the seabirds fly...)

PROMISE...

I'm Sorry for being me... for being sooooo makulit...Sorry for disturbing you always in FB, kung seguro if i can still text you sinamukon ta gihapon ka...pacensya coz i did not realize your side. Maybe I'm too trying hard to be ok... I'm so focus on myself...As i said all i want is to be ok...until now nasasaktan parin kasi ako...I'm too SELFISH...

I'm enjoying my life and I'm so thankful to God for the things that i have....people see me as my life is full of colors, the smiles i bear and the laughter i've shared is really believable...iba lang kasi pag kasama ka pero as i evaluate myself i know just a part of it is not ok...Let that part will just be at ease..stay there forever...I'm fine..the whole package is ok...the whole dress will not be destroyed if just part of it got a stain...I can move-on tanggap ko na that we cannot be friends...I want you to be my friend kaya ganoon nalang ka super kulit na hindi naman pala puede...kaya super kulit din ako sa FB always giving you messages, even just a simple hi! or just like this (: or this <3......But mind you, there's no one would ever do this to you except me...ako lang naman ang super kulit na nakilala mo..sorry coz you've encountered once in your life a person like me..from now on I'm not going to disturb you anymore... thanks for your time that even I'm a torture to you but still you gave - in pinagbigyan mo pa rin ako...You will still answer my call and some of my text messages and FB msg.

THANK YOU

I want you to know that I'm not using any excuses...maybe nagkataon lang seguro... and I am stronger enough....I thought i can still fix a broken glass but now i know once it has been broken...8s really broken..hayyy buhay..SORRY FOR LOVING YOU...I'm on my way... I always make promises to myself but most of the time i failed when it's about you ...Hope this time i will succeed...I'M MOVING ON...that's a promise..really???

JUST PRAYING..

Just praying that one day everything will be ok... I'm not praying for my past to be back... I'm praying for both of us to be ok...that there will be no pain... when times come... I said let us face this rather than hiding it because the more that we can't let go if we keep it in our heart..Times had proven it...This is TRUE LOVE..we did not want this... it just happened...I just want to let you feel how much i love you so, we can both let go, so i will not regret in the future for not letting you know. I'm not holding you back...All I want is for us to move - on, I did not pray anything for both of us or claim to God for the two us...There's no US in the making and no US in the future but there is US today to fix our hearts to be ok...coz I know there's no way to be back. I want to be ok...You don't have to worry coz I'm not dreaming... You don't need to hide yourself to move -on coz i know where i stand...I know where i belong..and I know who am i now. We need to work together to move - on, we need each other for this to work out...Your circles saying to Move-on, forget, no contact, no messages, be busy, enjoy and be happy so you can move-on. You knew already we did it... years had proven it...no contacts, no calls, no text, no FB messages, we even not see each other for how many years but yet our hearts remain...I need your cooperation, I can't do this alone...Almost 7 years since then...but if in case you've change your mind and take the opposite, I understand... it will be fine for me but i know it will takes time for me to let everything go by...i'll just wait in God's time...Just hoping that you'll be fine too...and no regrets for what we haven't do...

Really God knows I'm praying for our HEARTS and not beyond... Hope you understand...I'm not giving up yet...someday God will hear my innermost prayer...

“Prayer has been fittingly compared to the heartbeat of physical life: it never ceases. Luther says: ‘Where there is a Christian, there is the Holy Ghost, who is always engaged in prayer. For though the Christian does not continually move his lips to utter words, nevertheless the heart is beating and pulsating, like the arteries and the heart in the body, unceasingly sighing: O dear Father, may Thy name be hallowed, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done among us and all people, etc. And as the attacks trials, and troubles press and crowd harder, also such sighing and begging becomes more urgent, even audible. So, then, you cannot find a Christian who is not always praying, as little as a living person is without a pulse, which never rests, but beats continuously, through the person may be sleeping or is occupied otherwise, so that he is not aware of its beating.’ (St. L. VIII:363.)” (Pieper, Francis, Christian Dogmatics, Vol. III, The Christian Life and Prayer, pp. 76-77.)

Lord Jesus Christ Son of God have mercy on me a sinner.

God is always good and we are in his hands. +JCJ

There's no time had passed in my life without thinking of you. From sunrise to sunset... even just before i close my eyes in the evening...even in my prayers and in my dreams... really, you occupy my heart and my mind. Thinking of you reminds me that life is amazing.

...she begun to wonder, what will happen if, just by chance, she should run unto you...

Do you believed in Platonic Friendship??? But I think there's no such thing as platonic friendship when two people attract each other...

There is never a time or place for true love... No one could be blame...its not your fault why she feel in love with you or why you fall in love with her. Maybe we're just victim of the situation...You are fortunate enough that you fall in love. I believe true love is unselfish..unconditional... Can we just be happy for the one that we Love??? I knew Its difficult to be happy when u knew his the only one who can make u feel that way, but life must go on... To be happy is an option... Yes, It is easy to say but deep within...u can't pretend. HAPPINESS is easy to spell but it has a deep deep profound meaning...just like when you will say move - on... it is easy to say but difficult to do...only time can tell when to move on and when to let go....How i wish  heart will be just like a traffic light that when it turns into green it is time to let go... 

Sometimes I cannot understand... why can't we just be thankful?  Can we not say Thank you for loving me in that way? ... Its just that... that was what i feel.. i cannot blame myself nor tell my heart...I'm sorry if i feel this way... don't hate me...minahal lang kita but you're not committed to me... you are free...free to do anything you want in your life.

"I didn't say i love you just to hear it back...i just  wanna  make sure that you knew"...go on with your life, don't be bothered...I'm not a hindrance..I'm alright...I'm ok... I can manage and I can take care of myself..

In Love With You (with Jacky Cheung) lyrics

Just a gentle whisper, tell me that you'd gone

Leaving only memories, where did we go wrong?

I couldn't find the words then, so let me say them now

I'm still in love with you

Tell me that you love me, tell me that you care

Tell me that you need me, and I'll be there

I'll be there waiting...

I will always love you, I will always stay true

There's no one who loves you like I do

Come to me now

I will never leave you, I will always here with you

Through the good and bad I will stand true

I'm in love with you

Now we've here together, yesterday has past

Life is just beginning, close to you at last

And I promise to you, I will always be there

I give my all to you

Living life without you is more that I can bear

Hold me close forever,

I'll be there...

I'll be there for you

I will always love you, I will always stay true

There's no one who loves you like I do

This I promise...

I will never leave you, I will stand here with you

Though the good and bad I will stand true

Hold me closer...

Our love is forever, holding us together

Nothing in this world can stop us now

Love has found

Love has found a way ...

I'm in love, I'm in love

Yes I'm in love, so in love

I'm so in love with you....